Sunday, October 28, 2012

Talking Point's #9


“Sex-positive feminists generally… see sexual orientation and gender as social constructs that are heavily influenced by society.”

“Sex-positive feminism centers on the idea that sexual freedom is an essential component of women's freedom.”

Gayle Rubin (Rubin, 1984) summarizes the conflict over sex within feminism:
...There have been two strains of feminist thought on the subject. One tendency has criticized the restrictions on women's sexual behavior and denounced the high costs imposed on women for being sexually active. This tradition of feminist sexual thought has called for a sexual liberation that would work for women as well as for men. The second tendency has considered sexual liberalization to be inherently a mere extension of male privilege. This tradition resonates with conservative, anti-sexual discourse.”

Because women are known to be looked at as to not like sex and like porn, when a women puts herself out there and makes it clear that its okay for her to like watching porn and likes having sex, she is known as a slut, a hore, anything but positivity is seen. Yet who is to say that being a slut is a bad thing? Yes she likes to have sex. So what. Yes she likes to sleep around. So what? If she is doing it in a healthy way staying protected so that she stays healthy what’s the big deal? Who are we to judge her sex-life decisions? A man can have sex with as much women and typically, he is seen as a “stallion”, patted on the back by his friends because he is getting laid. But nope with women, its “not lady like”. Typically, it is known as a bad thing for a woman to express herself sexually. 

Some parents will tell their daughters that if they are not a virgin when they marry, their husband isn’t going to be too happy because he is too be the only man that should be allowed to have had you in bed. That as a woman you should give him the satisfaction to know that he has been the only one that has had you in bed. But I think different. I don’t think your reasoning for wanting to wait till marriage should be to give him the satisfaction that he has been your only one. Having that as your reason to wait till marriage, gives me the feeling that you’re giving him the power over your body because you were waiting to give him the satisfaction. It shows that your only concern is to satisfy his needs and not yours as well. In a relationship you should be satisfying one another’s needs, not only the man’s and not only the woman’s, but for everyone in the relationship, even when it is more than just the two of you.

My tangent is an example of why I feel that a lot of young girls grow up thinking that it is wrong to be sexually active and free. These young girls grown up calling the “rebels” of this cultural norm hores and sluts because they do not follow what is seemed to be the norm of what a woman’s sex life should be like.  

More over, I find the controversies that come up with new law that is trying to be put into place concerning free birth control for women to be truly ridiculous. For example, parents will buy their sons condoms so that they can stay protected but wont allow for their daughter to get on birth control?  It is the same concept. The condom will help protect the women he is sleeping with to not get pregnant and will benefit both partners from diseases. Yet birth control will also help for a woman to not get pregnant when she decides she is ready to be sexually active. If the man is the only one protected, that leaves the woman powerless. Wouldn’t it be great to know that she is in control of her own body? A woman shouldn’t be looked down upon for being on birth control. She is protecting herself, her future, which should be praised.

All this talk that I have written is only a way to raise awareness and to get my opinion out there because my opinion along with yours as well matters. But until we do something to put our thoughts in action and lead by example by doing and being the example of our own words and expressions, not much will change. We have to step it up, raise awareness, open minds, be positive, lead by example, be the change, and things can turn out for the better.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Talking Point's #8

Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Peggy Orenstein


As I began to read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, by Peggy Orenstein, I began to feel completely guilty because I was that little girl who played with Barbie’s and loved the Disney Princess’s, especially Cinderella, maybe because she was the most popular. I used to use cassette tapes to build the homes of my Barbies, and would ride them around the house in their pink convertible car that my mom had bought me, for them. I always felt really good playing with my Barbie’s because they were so beautiful and perfect to me. I remember thinking that they had the most beautiful eyes. Also, thinking that their make-up was perfect, that their eyebrows were perfect, and that their hair was perfect as well. I remember one day going into my aunt’s room and using her make-up to try and match myself to the Barbie’s look. In addition, because of Cinderella, I also remember also always envisioning myself at a ball and at a wedding, which would soon to be mine, in a long white gown, like the one Cinderella wore on her special night. Although at the time, the idea of being saved by prince charming seemed like an incredible dream, while reading chapters two and three from Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I began to wonder why it was so okay for me to think that in order to get out of horrible situations, we must wait on marriage in order for a man to come and rescue us. It made me think about a band named Play, which I always use to listen to. Play wrote this song called Cinderella, which explained how they did not want to be saved by prince charming anymore; rather they wanted to save themselves. I remember this song being a break through for me because it changed my perspective on the messages that the story of Cinderella was teaching people. It showed me that we do not need a prince charming, a man, as women, to make it through hardships, or just life in general. We just need to be strong for our own sake and be happy making our own dreams come true with hard work and encouragement found within. 

Class Discussion:

What do boys learn about girls through princess culture and what do girls learn about themselves through princess culture?

Todays Topic: What does the toy culture teach kids and what can we do about it?

Commercial one: Tonka Toys “Tonka Tough” : 30TV
- There is no limit to what a boy can do according to the Tonka plane commercial
- Boys play outside
             - Intention vs. Implications
- Aggressive voice
- Indicated future: Army, adventure,
- At the end of the commercial the toy was only displayed, they didn’t connect the toy to the kid playing with it, (shows its all external, no emotions)
- They’re active, they move, they see the world

Commercial two: Baby Alive- Toy Commercial – 1990 - Kenner
- All babys are girls
- Soft voice
- Advertised for girls who want to be like their parents who probably have a baby
- Indicated future: Domesticated, stay at home moms
- At the end the toy says “ I love the way she makes me feel” – they connected the baby with the girl playing with the baby, (emotion, kindness, loving, inside, internal)
- The “pretend real” is so important
- Just the “mommy” little girl and the baby alive, not father