Talking Points #7

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

Michael Kimmel

Quotes:

“Because of feminism, they say, America has been so focused on girls that we've forgotten about boys.”

With the feminist movements, all we see are films, literature, and stories about how the women in the early 1900’s created a movement in order to help women gain their right to vote, also known as the women’s suffrage. But it was much more than that; it was about freedom in terms of being able to choose a candidate based on their opinions and not based on the households opinion. It was about being able to provide for oneself, it was about as a woman, not having to belong to a man anymore. All I know is the side of those who were apart of the women’s suffrage movement, but although it may be controversial, I have not seen any films regarding how the men were feeling at the time and how and what they did to slowly deal with the changes of their time, in regards to women for example, getting a little bit more freedom by slowly gaining their voting rights. Because of the media, literature, and films, I feel like I know so much about the woman’s experience, but we have yet to discuss and learn about the experiences that men dealt with throughout the change, how is it that they were adapting, is it possible that they may still be adapting to it today?

Tangent:

I feel as though in a household, most family members are more inclined to choose the same candidates because they live with each other and demand the same type of attention and necessities from what the candidates have to offer. If a candidate focuses for example, on making it mandatory that all households get free access to medical care, no matter a family’s economic status, a less wealthy family will most likely be more in favor of the candidate who offers this great opportunity throughout their term. When women would stay at home in order to care for the children and keep the home tidied up, they were able to keep up with the news in order to discuss and summarize it to their husbands. The husbands would listen and because we all naturally talk more about the people we like and agree with, when the husband would go out to vote, the only candidate that would pop up in his head would be the one that as a family they talked about the most. Which would bring him to most likely vote for that specific candidate. I believe women were secretly voting because of this behavior, making the decision for the man on who to vote for throughout the elections.

“By minimizing the importance of basic biological differences, and establishing girls' standards as the ones all children must follow, feminists have wrecked boyhood.”

What feminism did after all, was give us a lot of freedom and I question whether or not it is too much, whether or not we will now start to over power men and let it be a continuing cycle of fighting for equal rights, because although we want to be truly equal I do not believe we are. If we were all equal, all men as much as women would also be able to give birth, categories would not exist, cultures would not exist, there would not be rich, nor poor, etc. Too much order calls for a tyrant, a bully, a dictator, but without order and with too little of it, we would start to lose our minds and not know what decisions to make, we would live stressed and overwhelmed with so many options. We would also hurt each other because boundaries would be unrecognizable. 

As men and women in our society, we have forgotten our roles. I am starting to wonder if whether or not that is a good or bad thing? Can it be both? We spend our days surrounded by all these options as to whether or not we feel like dating a man or women, debating whether or not we will be the caretakers, the moneymakers, or both.

Class Discussion:

“Boys will be boys”

What’s wrong this phrase?

It polices the behavior of boys & men à System. Not just one thing keeping it in place, its more than just the media, the dad, its many things.

- It’s like the birdcage idea. If a birdcage had only one bar, all the birds would fly around it, but no, all the bars are there to enclose the cage and keep the birds in.

- Acceptable behavior at a young age

            Aggression

            No crying

            Not talk about feelings

            Breed winners

            Dirty/messy

            Violence

Not being a “girl”

- It sets expectations for boys

- Gender roles

- It makes the “well-behaved” boys not normal

Feminism is a race of action

How you define a problem, is how you seek the solution

Problem:

Testosterone being used as an excuse for their aggressiveness, obnoxious behavior

Kimmel talks about:

      1.     The “Boy Code”      

      2.     Male Violence

      3.     Biological determinism (Testosterone)

      - There is something inherently different about men and women and those things are biologically  
         determined

a.     Biological associates with:

                                               i.     Something you’re born with

                                              ii.     Our body

Feminism says that we shouldn’t say ones actions or way of being is “biologically determined”

Kimmel says let’s talk about points 1 and 2 but lets not talk about point 3.

Film: Tough Guise

Crisis in Masculinity

The scene in the Wizard of Oz where they pull the curtain back and show this powerful wizard who is actually sensitive is a metaphor that shows that masculinity is not a state of being, it’s a projection, a pose, a mask, that men wear to be just one of the guys

The media is the most powerful in demonstrating what masculinity should look like

-Latino men are always presented as boxers, criminals, and gang members in the media

-Asian men are presented as MMA fighter and violent criminals in the media

Men account for:

85% murder

90% assault

95& domestic violence

95& dating violence

95% child sexual abuse

Part One: Understanding Violent Masculinity

The way we talk about the problem, is part of the problem

When we think of race:

- We think of African American people, Asian Americans people, Latin American people, but we never think of White people

When we think of sexual orientation:

- We think of lesbian, queer, bisexual but we never think of Heterosexuality

When we think of gender:

- We think of female, but we never think of male

- We never focus on the dominant groups: White people, heterosexuality, and the male gender

- Violence is generally linked to males to masculinity so when women are violent it is seemed to be unusual so we put so much effort in asking why they were violent, but we do not put effort in understanding why men are violent because it is suppose to represent a masculine trait, so it is okay, it is normal.

- Feminism is about fairness, equality

- 1/3 of teenagers who kill themselves are gay

- “You gotta look mean or people won’t respect you”

- There is this idea that men of color need to look mean and tough in order to gain respect back for their manhood

Part Two: Violent Masculinity in Action

- A lot of males turn to violence in order to assert their manhood

For Example: The shootings that took place at schools by young male teenagers occurred mostly because they were bullied for not seeming masculine enough, tough…

Violent Masculinity is one of the ways boys become men

- Shown through video games, films, and sports

The sports culture teaches men “how to be” men

- They are taught to be intimidating and controlling

- For example: In basketball when you dunk, you dunk over another player, showing that you get respect by disrespecting another person

- “A real man makes it on his own, and if he doesn’t make it, it’s his own fault”

- “I don’t want to talk about it” is how men are taught to deal, they need to suck it up

- “Showing pain or suffering is weak”

- A “real man” deals with his problems and does not burden others with them

Masculinity is a public health problem

- We need to see more men acknowledging vulnerability