Talking Point's #9

SEX-POSITIVE FEMINISM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-positive_feminism

Quotes:

“Sex-positive feminists generally… see sexual orientation and gender as social constructs that are heavily influenced by society.”

“Sex-positive feminism centers on the idea that sexual freedom is an essential component of women's freedom.”

“Gayle Rubin (Rubin, 1984) summarizes the conflict over sex within feminism:

...There have been two strains of feminist thought on the subject. One tendency has criticized the restrictions on women's sexual behavior and denounced the high costs imposed on women for being sexually active. This tradition of feminist sexual thought has called for a sexual liberation that would work for women as well as for men. The second tendency has considered sexual liberalization to be inherently a mere extension of male privilege. This tradition resonates with conservative, anti-sexual discourse.”

Because women are known to be looked at as to not like sex and like porn, when a women puts herself out there and makes it clear that its okay for her to like watching porn and likes having sex, she is known as a slut, a hore, anything but positivity is seen. Yet who is to say that being a slut is a bad thing? Yes she likes to have sex. So what. Yes she likes to sleep around. So what? If she is doing it in a healthy way staying protected so that she stays healthy what’s the big deal? Who are we to judge her sex-life decisions? A man can have sex with as much women and typically, he is seen as a “stallion”, patted on the back by his friends because he is getting laid. But nope with women, its “not lady like”. Typically, it is known as a bad thing for a woman to express herself sexually. 

Tangent:

Some parents will tell their daughters that if they are not a virgin when they marry, their husband isn’t going to be too happy because he is too be the only man that should be allowed to have had you in bed. That as a woman you should give him the satisfaction to know that he has been the only one that has had you in bed. But I think different. I don’t think your reasoning for wanting to wait till marriage should be to give him the satisfaction that he has been your only one. Having that as your reason to wait till marriage, gives me the feeling that you’re giving him the power over your body because you were waiting to give him the satisfaction. It shows that your only concern is to satisfy his needs and not yours as well. In a relationship you should be satisfying one another’s needs, not only the man’s and not only the woman’s, but for everyone in the relationship, even when it is more than just the two of you.

My tangent is an example of why I feel that a lot of young girls grow up thinking that it is wrong to be sexually active and free. These young girls grown up calling the “rebels” of this cultural norm hores and sluts because they do not follow what is seemed to be the norm of what a woman’s sex life should be like.  

More over, I find the controversies that come up with new law that is trying to be put into place concerning free birth control for women to be truly ridiculous. For example, parents will buy their sons condoms so that they can stay protected but wont allow for their daughter to get on birth control?  It is the same concept. The condom will help protect the women he is sleeping with to not get pregnant and will benefit both partners from diseases. Yet birth control will also help for a woman to not get pregnant when she decides she is ready to be sexually active. If the man is the only one protected, that leaves the woman powerless. Wouldn’t it be great to know that she is in control of her own body? A woman shouldn’t be looked down upon for being on birth control. She is protecting herself, her future, which should be praised.

All this talk that I have written is only a way to raise awareness and to get my opinion out there because my opinion along with yours as well matters. But until we do something to put our thoughts in action and lead by example by doing and being the example of our own words and expressions, not much will change. We have to step it up, raise awareness, open minds, be positive, lead by example, be the change, and things can turn out for the better.